


Delos Days

by Keyseeker



Series: Goddess Meg, Baby Apollo, and Skelekittens [2]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Artemis loves her brother, Canon Compliant, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Meg is a Goddess, Spoilers for TOA through The Burning Maze, Through the Burning Maze
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-11 09:21:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17444177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keyseeker/pseuds/Keyseeker
Summary: Sequel to Breaking FreeAfter the hectic events of Breaking Free, Meg, Artemis, and Leto take Apollo to the island of Delos to grow up again. Apollo isn't the only one who was affected by those events however, and all of them must deal with the aftermath.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Grace_The_Fangirl for betaing!

Day 0

—  Apollo’s POV  —

I was warm. I was safe. I was loved.

I snuggled into the soft green cloth. Nothing bad could happen now. Everything would be fine.

I felt myself being carried around. It was nice. Someone was protecting me.

We crossed through… something. I didn’t know what. But I was fine and so was my protector, so I didn’t care.

What I DID care about, were all the weird presences I could feel around me. One drew my attention. It was familiar. I knew this presence. I’d always known her.

My protector unwrapped the cloth near my face. I looked at the presence.

A young girl was running towards us, auburn hair streaming out behind her. Her silver eyes were bloodshot, her cheeks stained with tears. She looked frantic, almost manic.

My sister. This was my sister! She was here! I hadn’t seen her since… since… I gave up that line of thought. My sister was here!

I cooed and reached out my arms to her. I’d missed her so much!

My sister gently held me in her arms. She murmured softly, “Ἀπόλλων”.

My name.

That was my name!

I felt some small piece of myself return. I knew my name now. I was Ἀπόλλων, also known as Apollon or Apollo. How could I have forgotten that?

What else had I forgotten? What else had I lost.

My sister.

I’d forgotten my sister.

I hadn’t seen her since… since… I hadn’t seen her in ages!

I grabbed onto her shirt. If I let go, she might disappear again.

I memorized every detail of her face. If I looked away, I might forget her again. I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t lose her!

As she looked at me, her face twisted. I didn’t like that face. That look meant bad things. Painful things. I whimpered.

Her face softened again. I relaxed.

Then the yelling started.

An awful, angry noise, one that promised pain and suffering. I looked towards the source of the sound.

A wild-eyed man stared back at me, yelling and screaming. Golden liquid glistened on his shirt, leaking from the many, MANY sticks poking out of him. He looked like he wanted to hurt me… no… worse. He looked like he wanted to hurt the people AROUND me.

For a moment, I saw that angry face again. But this time, he didn’t have that wet gold stuff on him. He raised his arm. My world erupted into pain, searing white-hot through my body.

I broke out of the memory. I looked back at the man and recoiled, trying to get away. He- he might hurt me. Have to stay quiet. If I make noise, it’ll be worse. Be quiet and take the punishment.

My sister adjusted her grip on me.

My sister! He might hurt her! He might… He… might…

My eyes drooped.

I fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Day 1

—  Leto’s POV  —

He was so young.

My son was curled up in my arms snoring away, still wrapped in the cloth from Sally Jackson’s dress. I saw no need to remove it. It exuded love and comfort, with a hidden undercurrent of protectiveness.

I would have to pay a visit to Sally Jackson. Her kindness had saved my son from nonexistence. She had MORE than earned my blessing.

Nonexistence… the thought terrified me. My son had nearly ceased to exist. And I hadn’t even known about it.

I’d been watching Apollo’s quest since the beginning, begging and pleading with Zeus to help him, to make sure that he lived. After Apollo had stabbed himself with that arrow, I was afraid to sleep. If he died while I was taking a nap, I would never forgive myself. Luckily we gods don’t NEED much sleep, though it is better if we do.

I watched as my son’s essence was extracted from him, heard his screams of agony, watched him sob as that brave young pandos sacrificed his life to buy Apollo time. I would have gone down there, SCREW Zeus’s rules, SCREW the danger. That was my SON. Zeus held me back. I screamed at him to let me go, to let me save our son. He just looked at me, completely stony-faced.

I continued watching until Apollo was safely above ground. I could not take my eyes off him. I had to assure myself that yes, somehow, he had survived. That he was alive. That I would one day be able to talk with him again, to hug him again.

Zeus left me after Apollo returned from the Labyrinth. An hour or so later, he returned. He looked at me tenderly and handed me a draught of some warm drink. It smelled nice.

“My dear,” he purred. “Our son is strong. He will live. I’d never send him on this quest if I didn’t think he could complete it. But if it makes you feel better, I’ll help him from now on. With my blessing, he’s sure to be fine.”

I cried from relief. Zeus was finally listening to reason! Seeing Apollo almost be disintegrated must have changed his mind. This was the man I fell in love with.

“But for now, why don’t you share a drink with me?” Zeus asked, smiling. “It’ll calm your nerves.”

Like an idiot, I believed him. I trusted him. I should have known better than to accept a drink from Zeus. He had tricked Kronos into regurgitating his siblings by endearing himself to the court, becoming Kronos’s cupbearer, and then poisoning his drink, after all.

I took a sip of my drink.

Immediately my mind clouded over. The world became fuzzy. The last thing I heard Zeus say was “By the time you wake up, this’ll all be over.”

I slept for a long time.

I woke up to Apollo’s young companion, Meg, and my daughter standing next to me. A baby was napping in my daughter’s arms.

Apollo was napping in her arms.

I blinked the sleep out of my eyes. “Whaaaa…? What happened? Why is Apollo a baby?”

Wait.

Apollo is here.

APOLLO. IS. HERE.

I shot up, wide awake. I held my trembling arms out towards Artemis. She gently transferred him into my embrace.

I stroked his soft, wispy curls and listened to the quiet sound of his breathing. I looked deeper. His essence was small, but strong, and growing stronger. It felt a lot like it had when he was first born. Which meant that he was a god again. I didn’t have to worry about my son dying anymore.

I broke out in quiet sobs. I made sure that none of them fell on Apollo. I didn’t want to wake him up.

After waiting a few moments for my sobbing to lessen, Artemis spoke. “You were asleep for a long time, mother. Several months in fact. A lot has happened.”

She and Meg explained what had happened while I was unconscious, about all the pain Apollo had suffered and all the friends he’d made. Of how he had defeated Python, but died in the process (I had to stare at Apollo the entire time Meg was telling me that part. I had to reassure myself that he was alive and safe). And finally, of how Meg had brought both herself and Apollo back from the abyss, and of Zeus’s punishment.

“Meg…” I stared at her. I gave Apollo back to Artemis, and then walked over to Meg. I drew her into an embrace. She stiffened for a moment, and I was afraid that I had done the wrong thing. Then she relaxed and returned my hug.

“You saved my son. You saved him so many times. Even when he was on the brink of nonexistence, you found a way to bring him back. I can never repay you for all that you have done. I would be honored to consider you family, if you are okay with that. If you ever need ANYTHING — anything at all — don’t hesitate to ask.”

Meg quivered as I spoke. A moment later, I heard her quietly sob, “Yes.”

We stayed like that for a minute longer, and then separated. Artemis spirited the three of us away to Delos.

Apollo’s eyes fluttered open.

I snapped out of my reverie.

For a moment he stared at me, as if he couldn’t believe his eyes. A slow, bright smile spread across his face. Then his face contorted and he started crying, holding his arms out, asking for a hug. I cuddled him close as he sobbed.

“Shh…. Shh Apollo, it’ll be okay. I’m here now. Your sister and Meg are here. It’s okay. You’re safe.”

I sang a lullaby to him, one I’d sung when he was young the first time. His sobs quieted.

My son was here. He was safe. He wouldn’t be torn away again.


	3. Chapter 3

Day 2

—  Artemis’s POV  —

Time to leave.

Apollo was sleeping again. Now was the best time. With any luck, I’d be back before he woke up.

I hated to leave him, but this was important. I couldn’t ask Meg or mother to do this. Meg had already lived through this once, and I wasn’t going to put mother through this trauma.

Besides, Meg might not know how to fly, or how to use GPS. Hm. I’d have to teach her the ins-and-outs of being a god. Apollo wasn’t in any fit state to do so, and besides, it was the LEAST I could do for my new honorary little sister.

Filing that away for later, I took off from my birthplace and headed northwest, towards the mainland. I could have simply teleported there, but I needed a few minutes to steady my nerves. This may not be dangerous, but it would be emotionally trying.

Ocean gave way to land. I slowed down as I approached my destination, a giant cave.

Python’s former lair.

I walked into the cavern, trying to emit a confidence and serenity that I did not feel.

After walking for several minutes, I found it.

Apollo’s mortal corpse.

He lay where he had died two days ago. Dried blood coated his shirt. The smell of decay wafted through the air. His eyes (its, its eyes, this is just an empty shell, Apollo’s back on Delos, he’s not dead) blank and lifeless.

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, I knelt by  ~~his~~  the corpse. Gently, I wrested the ukulele from  ~~his~~  its grip. Tenderly, I closed its eyes.

“This will never happen again,” I quietly promised. “The world needs you too much. I need you too much, little brother. This will be the only time you die.”

I placed my hand on the body’s chest, just over the heart. The body dissolved into light and sank into the cavern floor. Little yellow wildflowers popped up where the body was. They would never die, despite the lack of sun. They would be my brother’s gravestone, a reminder of how close I came to losing him forever.

I turned away and walked out of the cavern. Then a little faster. I started running. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore and I teleported straight to Delos, back to my brother. My brother, who was ALIVE.

I ran into the room where my brother was sleeping. Mother looked startled and concerned when she saw me burst in, looking frantic, nearly on the edge of tears, but when she saw the ukulele strapped onto me, her look faded into one of understanding.

Apollo chose that moment to wake up. He blearily opened his eyes and looked around the room, finally settling on me. He gave me a look of concern and held out his arms.

I picked him up and burst into tears.

He hugged me as best he could, making soft babbling noises.

Then he noticed the ukulele I was carrying.

His eyes widened.

He held out his hands and trilled urgently, asking for it.

I set him on the rug on the floor and sat down, with Apollo on my lap. I held the ukulele so that he could pluck the strings, even though he couldn’t hold it himself.

Reverently he reached out a hand and drew back a string. It twanged, sending a clear, loud note across the room.

Apollo burst into tears and hugged the ukulele.

He held onto it for the rest of the night.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I accidentally uploaded the wrong chapter at first. Got ahead of myself there. I'll probably post that chapter tomorrow... or technically later today. For now, here's the actual Chapter 4!

Day 3

—  Meg’s POV  —

 

“What is your sphere of influence?”

I stared at Artemis. What was she talking about? “What’s a sphere of influence?” I asked.

She looked at me in surprise for a moment. She elaborated, “A sphere of influence is the domain over which a god has control, or is responsible for. Usually a god instinctually knows their domain. Stronger gods, such as myself and Apollo, can even acquire domains. That’s one of the major reasons why Apollo has so many; he just kept on finding new things he wanted to be god of.”

“So I can just choose whatever I want?”

“Not whatever you want. You should figure out what your primary domain is first; what your role in the world is.”

My role in the world? What did that even mean? “How do I do that?” I asked.

“You know how Apollo became the god of the sun, right?”

I thought back. “People got confused and thought that Apollo was in charge of the sun. When enough people were confused, Helios went away and Apollo actually DID become the god of the sun, right?”

She nodded, “That’s correct. If enough people believe that you’re in charge of something, then you can become in charge of it. If enough people believe that you’re a god, you can become one. And if a god or monster gives up, if they believe that the world doesn’t need them anymore, they can fade. Don’t underestimate the effect that someone’s feelings and beliefs can have on the world.”

Oh.

That made sense.

That made a LOT of sense, actually.

My dress.

Sally’s dress.

Sally had given it to me, a complete stranger. She’d told me about Percy and his friends, how they’d saved the world, how they helped everyone. Being with her, experiencing her kindness, it had been the first assurance that maybe, just maybe, I could trust these people.

That trust, that kindness, was symbolized by the dress I wore. Every friend I made, every kindness I experienced, reinforced what Sally had told me. I knew that that dress was not responsible for all the kindness, all the friendship. But it reminded me that people cared about me in this world, people who were NOT my stepfather.

Who were not the Beast.

That Nero was lying.

Sally’s warmth and kindness in giving the dress may have imbued it with slight protective qualities, but it was my own INTERPRETATION of what that gift meant, of how it mattered to me, that ultimately imbued it with the strength to protect Apollo.

And those cords, the ones that led me back to the land of the living, they were formed of the nature spirits’ belief in me. That belief had granted me divinity, like it had the emperors.

I was a protector.

But I was more than that.

I had protected Apollo during his quest, that’s true. Even when he had died, I had kept him safe. But after I got back, I protected in a different way.

I had looked at Zeus and seen a Beast. But I had also seen hope. A possibility of change.

Apollo had given Lit a second chance, even with all the terrible things he had tried to do, had done in the past. He refused to give up on him.

Apollo himself was an example. I’d seen him in the beginning, heard his arrogance, and seen him change and transform through his experiences. When placed in different experiences, he grew.

And so I had given Zeus that same chance. I opened up the door for change. It would be up to him to take it.

Something clicked into place.

I knew my role.

I stood up straight and faced my honorary sister.

“I am the Goddess of Rebirth and Redemption. If someone wants to change, I will nudge them on the right path. When they believe that they are trapped and that it’s too late for them, I will open up a door. Even after someone dies, I will give some who failed to earn Elysium the option to be reincarnated, a second chance to do things right. I am not the Goddess of Mercy or Forgiveness. The hard work, they will have to do themselves. I changed, Apollo changed, even Lit changed. It only seems right.”

Artemis smiled at me. I became aware of my surroundings, and of myself. Every molecule of my body was tingling with energy. I was shining as bright as the sun.

“Congratulations, Meg McCaffrey, Goddess of Rebirth and Redemption, on unlocking your Divine Form.”

“So, I’m fully goddy now?” I asked.

Artemis looked taken aback for a second. “Um, yes…?” I could see her silently thinking to herself  _Goddy? What kind of word was that?_

“I’m also gonna be the Protector of Southern California,” I blurted out. “I’m gonna protect all the nature spirits there, and the demigods in the area. The Meliai can help me. I want demigods to be safe and not be constantly attacked. I want to make Southern California a safe haven.”

Artemis beamed at me. “You’re ambitious, like I was. I’ll help you. As goddess of the hunt, I can help to drive monsters out of the area. I won’t be able to help all the time — other areas need help too — but I can get you started. A safe haven… that would be wonderful.”

Slowly I stopped shining and went back to normal. But I knew what I would do now.

Everything alive deserved to grow. And I would give people the chance.


	5. Chapter 5

Day 4

Apollo’s POV

Soooooo boooooored.

It’s dark, no one’s awake, and I have NOTHING to do. Mom’s still asleep, with me by her side. I didn’t want to wake her up, but I was SO restless. I had to move!

I rocked around, trying to at least do SOMETHING. I rocked sideways, and ended up on my belly. On my belly… I wonder…

I pushed myself up with my arms. I hadn’t been able to do this before, but I’m bigger now. Slowly I reached an arm out and dragged myself forwards. Then I moved a leg forwards. Then an arm again. Yeeeesss! I could crawl now!

I crawled forwards, to the edge of the mattress Artemis had set on the floor. This would be a daunting height if I was an ordinary baby.

I was no ordinary baby.

I used the blankets that spilled over the edge of the mattress as a ramp to get to the floor.

I’d done it! I was free!

Now what? What could a baby do?

I recalled something. A vague memory from sometime long ago.

Another baby had crawled away from his mom. He’d marched out in the middle of the night, stolen cows, and even made an instrument before he marched back to his mom and tucked himself back in.

Resolve burned through my soul. If that baby could do all that, then I could to!

…Okay, so I didn’t know if any cows were around here, and I didn’t really want to steal any, but still! BABY POWER!

I don’t think there’s much around here… Hm… what can I do…?

I know! I’ll play hide-and-seek! It would take soooo long for the rest of my family to count long enough for me to hide. If I hide now, they won’t get frustrated and annoyed waiting for me, and I’ll know they didn’t peek! It’s brilliant!

I crawled out into the night. Luckily for me, it was overcast tonight. Artemis couldn’t use the moonlight to cheat.

Better find a place to hide that moonlight didn’t touch, though. The clouds could always move.

I crawled and crawled across the rocky landscape. There weren’t a lot of trees to hide under. Luckily, I was small enough that I didn’t NEED a tree.

After crawling around for a while, I found a thick shrub. It was only about two feet tall, but that was big enough for me. I crawled underneath it and promptly fell asleep.

0-O-0

Leto’s POV

Apollo lay at my feet, dead.

A rotten stench filled my nostrils. Bugs had chewed out his eyes, leaving empty eye sockets staring up at me. His corpse was bloated and swollen, with a thick, shiny sheen covering the skin… where he had skin left. Rats had chewed their way through some of the skin, leaving flesh exposed to the air.

I nearly threw up. Apollo had died while I was sleeping. I’d always feared for him, since that first week when he took off to fight Python. I’d thought that I’d lose him then, my precious baby boy.

This time, I actually had.

The world broke down around me. I hardly cared. My son was gone.

Oh gods… Artemis. She probably already knew. But if she knew, why wasn’t she here?

Was she dead too?

No.

NO.

My daughter, my precious daughter, she MUST be alive. She can’t be dead. Not her too.

I stumbled out of there somehow. My head felt like it was stuffed with bees, all buzzing _dead gone tortured hurt_.

I teleported feverishly around the U.S. But I saw no sign of my daughter, or her Hunters.

I rushed into Olympus. Normally I didn’t venture through his halls. Hera had made it quite clear that I wasn’t welcome there. I hardly cared now. She couldn’t hurt me any worse than I already was.

I tore into Zeus’s bedchamber. He sat on his bed, staring at me calmly.

“WHY IS APOLLO DEAD?!” I screamed at him. “WHERE IS MY DAUGHTER?! WHY! WHY DIDN’T YOU PROTECT THEM!”

He smiled at me, a warm, comforting smile. I wanted to bash his head in. “Didn’t I tell you?” he spoke smoothly, “It’s all over now.”

 

 

I sat up, gasping, tears running down my face.

It was just a dream. Apollo was fine. He didn’t die while I was sleeping. He’s fine. He’s not dead. He’s right…

I checked the bed. Then I checked again. Apollo isn’t here. HE’S NOT HERE.

My breathing got faster and faster. Dead, dead, DEAD. He’s DEAD. He won’t come back this time.

Have to find Artemis. Have to make sure she’s alright.

I stumbled out of my tent. I tripped and fell a few times, but I didn’t care. My daughter HAD to be alright. She HAD to be!

I tore open the entrance to Artemis’s tent. She sat up, alert. She took one look at my face and sprang out of bed.

“What happened? Where’s Apollo?” she asked, panic creeping into her voice.

“I- I went to sleep. I woke up and he was gone! What if he’s dead Artemis?! Or- or gone to fight a monster! He’s a BABY! I can’t lose him again! I- I- I-!” I broke down, sobbing into Artemis’s arms.

Artemis stroked my hair. “He can’t have gotten far. I’ll find him. I’m sure he’s fine. Just wait here, in case he comes back. I’ll hunt him down,” she spoke soothingly.

I nodded. She was right. Artemis could track down anything. She’d find him. It’d be okay.

The image of Apollo’s corpse flashed into my mind. No. That wasn’t REAL. He’s ok. Just wait. Artemis will find him. My children will be okay. They HAVE to be.

But what if Artemis disappeared too? Last time she’d hunted alone…

Noticing the new look of worry that passed over my face, Artemis said, “Don’t worry. I won’t be alone. I’ll bring Meg along with me. You won’t lose me.”

I relaxed slightly. “Go. Bring your brother back.”

She gave me one last look, and then my daughter was gone.

0-O-0

Artemis’s POV

I. Am. Going. To. MURDER. My. Baby. Brother.

He ran off AGAIN. I remember when he did this the first time. He ran off in the middle of the night to kill Python, leaving mother and I frantically searching Delos. He had a far enough headstart that time that he was gone from Delos before I even woke up. And even I had trouble finding someone who had crossed the ocean.

He came back a few days later with stories of how he easily slew Python, of how it had been no trouble at all, but I knew better. I saw the bruises peeking out from under his clothing, the way he jumped at every sound, and the fear in his eyes every time he saw a snake.

This time he was a lot more vulnerable. But at least he couldn’t have gotten far. He couldn’t even walk, he couldn’t have gotten off the island.

_Unless someone kidnapped him_ a small voice whispered in my head. _Unless the defenses were breached. Then he could be anywhere. Or he could already be dead._

“No, he couldn’t.” I whispered to myself. “I’d know if he were dead.”

“What’d you say?” Meg chimed in next to me.

“Nothing.”

I examined the ground. Frustratingly, the moon was covered by clouds, so I couldn’t see him from above. He’d also muffled our connection, so I couldn’t find his location. I’d have to do this the old-fashioned way.

Luckily, Apollo wasn’t very good at covering his tracks.

“It looks like he crawled out of the tent,” I sighed, relieved.

“So can you find him?” Meg asked, adjusting her glasses. The rhinestones glowed, acting like miniature flashlights.

“Yes, easily.”

I ran, following the trail of bent grasses and shifted pebbles.

A few minutes later, I found him.

There he was, napping peacefully underneath a bush. I didn’t know whether I wanted to cry and hug him, or throttle him.

I settled on picking him up.

He blearily opened his eyes and pouted at me. “Bah!” he exclaimed, looking annoyed.

I slowly grinned. “Oh baby bro~ther” I sing-songed, “you are in so~ much trouble.”

His look of annoyance changed to nervousness.

He tilted his head to the side and stared at me with big, pleading eyes.

I was unimpressed.

He gave up.

“When you’re grown again, remember this,” I whispered into his ear, “You made mother cry. I will have my revenge.”

A look of dread overcame his face.

I smiled at him again, one that didn’t reach my eyes.

“So!” I told Meg, “let’s get this little explorer back to bed. I’m sure this will be the last time he sneaks out, _won’t it_?”

Apollo gulped.

I carried him back, humming a joyful tune, lovely thoughts of patricide filling my mind.


	6. Chapter 6

Day 5

Apollo’s POV

I can feel pounding around me as Mom runs as fast as she can. I try to stay still, but it’s hard I want to squirm around and help her, it’s SO tight in here (move your feet out of my face sis), but if I move at all, it’ll hurt her, and if she’s too hurt too move…

I wish I could help. I can hear the thing chasing Mom even in here, the way it barrels through everything in its path. How hard she’s breathing, how much strain she’s under. I can’t see sis, but I can feel her. I can tell that she agrees. When we get out of here, we’re gonna make sure this can’t happen again.

My surroundings change. I’m free from the womb, born just a few days ago.  I quietly sneak out of the tent I’ve been sharing with Mom and sis, bow in hand. I WOULD get my revenge on that serpent, that MONSTER that tried to kill Mom. I can’t wake up Mom or Artie. They’d try to stop me. I KNOW I’m ready. Sis might be the Goddess of the Hunt, charged with killing monsters, but this one is MINE. No one hurts Mom. NO ONE.

I’m by the cave now where Python resides - the beast that chased my mother. Then - fighting, dodging, firing arrows as he lunges at me. His foul breath fills the chamber, choking me on its noxious fumes. If I had been mortal, I would have been dead long ago. As it is, the poison in the air makes it difficult to see, difficult to even sense where he will strike from. I glow brighter and brighter, trying to illuminate the cavern, but he doesn’t give me any chances to regain my bearings. He strikes, wrapping me in his coils, squeezing me until I’m sure that I’ll explode. I’ll never see Mom or sis again. Will they cry when I’m gone?

I remember sis’s face, the first face I ever saw, the first person to hold me. And Mom! She ran around the world for months, trying to find somewhere safe to have us.

No.

I can’t go away. My family would be devastated.

I  _will_  kill Python. I will live. For the sake of the people who care about me, I have to win!

Another change. This time I’m running, chasing, ducking through the trees, racing to catch up to my Love. I must catch her. She’s the one for me, I know she is. If I can just catch her, I know she’ll change her mind! I know she’ll fall for me too. She has to!

A part of me seemed oddly distant, separated from the rest of me. This part of me thought  _‘If only. If only I had stopped now. If only I had let her go.’_   The rest of me took no heed. I couldn’t change what happened here. It was in the past.

A sense of dread filled me. I felt like something terrible was going to happen - I  _knew_  something terrible was going to happen - and I would be forced to re-experience it.

With a jolt, my mind shifted back to the past, to what had been my present. Daphne’s just ahead of me. I can almost reach out and grab her, when I notice a change in her. I catch glimpses of leaves on her fingertips, see her skin darkening, becoming rougher. She slows down, enough that I can finally catch up. But it was no good. I’ve won the race, but lost what really matters. A weight drops into my stomach as her skin turns to bark beneath my fingers, her face twisting, sinking, becoming wood. I just stand for a moment, stunned. Then reality crashes over me, and I sink to my knees and sob. Daphne had chosen to die, rather than be with me. Her death was on my head. She had made it clear that she wanted nothing to do with me, and yet, I had pursued her anyway. I had killed her. I hugged her tree and sobbed, apologizing, telling her how sorry I was. But no apologies would bring her back.

A sudden shift. I am in bliss, happily talking with the beautiful Hyacinthus. I’ve loved many since Daphne, but since her, no one has captured my heart fully - until I met HIM. His laugh as he we threw a disc back and forth, his gorgeous purple eyes dancing with mirth. I am completely enamored with him, at peace in a way that I haven’t been in centuries.

A part of me looked on, knowing that something bad would happen. My self at this point had no clue, but I did. I watched with dread, knowing that Hyacinthus died that day.

Grinning with joy, I throw my discus, showing off a bit for him. I turned and grinned at him, taking my eyes off the disc. I knew I had thrown well - I was really good with projectiles, after all - and knew exactly how far and in what direction I had thrown. I didn’t need to actually watch the disc. Besides, I’d rather watch Hyacinthus’s face as he saw what a great throw I had made. He watches it for a minute, then turns to me, knowing that I have won. I focus totally on him, on his reaction - though I will take any excuse to stare at him. He opens his mouth, perhaps to joke with me, or to say that he can do better.

I never find out what he was going to say.

My disc collides with his head, impossibly far from its trajectory. That moment sears itself into my memory. The sickening crack as the disc -  _my disc_  - collides with his head, caving it in. The blood covering his face, leaking into his open purple eyes. The way he collapses into my arms as I rush to catch him, trying desperately to heal him. I’m the god of healing! If I can’t save the people I care about, what good am I?

I’m not any good.

A second true love, and he dies because of me as well.

My disc had killed him.

Whenever I dedicate my whole heart to someone, they die.

Because of my stupid decisions.

First Daphne had died because I had chased her when she was clearly not interested. Or perhaps because I had decided to tease Cupid. Either way, her death was my fault.

Now Hyacinthus was dead too.

**0-//O-0**  

l woke up crying. The dream - the nightmare - is already starting to fade from my mind. But glimpses of the memories remain. I had forgotten. I’d forgotten my lovers, their deaths, them dying because of my faults. What else had I forgotten? Who else had I forgotten?

Forgetting… what was I thinking of again?

Scenes flashed across my vision.

Pounding footsteps.

Slitted amber eyes, shot through with yellow flecks, staring at me in hatred.

Leaves growing from the end of a woman’s fingertips.

A bloody discus on the ground, next to a red and purple flower.

I screamed. I had to remember. I HAD to! I owed it to them. I… I…

It was no use.

My baby brain couldn’t hold the memories, not yet.

I screamed and cried, sobbing and sobbing because… why?

I just knew that I couldn’t stop.

Mother and sis entered the room, Meg at their heels. All of them looked terrified. Artemis looked around, no doubt searching for the cause of my fit.

Mother reached down, picking me up out of the crib and stroking my hair comfortingly.

“Shhhh… shhhhhh… we won’t let anything happen to you. Nothing bad will happen to us, either. We’re here. We’re safe.”

I just clung to her and cried. I didn’t even know why. Just that I had lost that which is irreplaceable. And I couldn’t even remember what it was.

I calmed down after a while. But for the rest of the day, I was out of it. I played with sis and Meg. strummed my ukulele (though looking at it caused pain to well up in my chest, I still couldn’t bear to part with it), and even chased Meg around a little. I stopped doing that after a minute.

Something told me that if I chased her, she would die.

Like  ~~Daphne~~  died.

I refused to crawl for the rest of the day.


	7. Chapter 7

Day 6

Apollo’s POV

I’m falling, falling, panicking -  _Why am I falling? Why can’t I fly?_  - and land roughly on some garbage, knocking the wind out of me. My ribs feel bruised, maybe even broken. I feel ashamed and raw, but I don’t know why. It’s weird, like I should know what’s going on, why I feel like this, but I don’t. But it seems so familiar…

YOUR FAULT. YOUR PUNISHMENT.

The words boom through my mind. I know this voice. That scary man, that mean man, the one who used to hurt me, who hurt Meg! That was his voice! I want to scream. I want to flee. I want that voice to go away to somewhere else, somewhere it can’t hurt me or the people I care about.

But I don’t do any of those things.

Instead, as YOUR FAULT tears through my head again, I hear myself say “No! No it wasn’t!”

Huh?

Why is my body doing things I haven’t told it to do?

This all seems very familiar…

The world jolts, and I’m on the ground, being kicked and beaten by some guys. Why?! What did I do to deserve this, to deserve being kicked and being hit with garbage, to deserve hearing the cracking sound as my ribs (DEFINITELY broken at this point) give in?!  I black out, only to be forced into consciousness again as I throw up.

_You’ve done so many things to deserve this. Don’t you remember all the people that have been endangered, suffered, that died because of you?_

A whisper echoes from the back of my mind. It sounds like me.

I don’t know what it’s talking about -  _what I’m talking about?_ \- but a heavy weight falls into my stomach anyway. It sounds like the truth. I deserve this.

*flash*

I’m standing up now, heavily injured, but alive. My tormentors are nowhere to be seen. Instead a young girl stands in front of me, the rhinestones on her glasses glittering in the light.

Meg!

My protector!

Maybe I deserve their punishment. But I know she’d disagree.

The thought fills me with hope.

More flashes. This time more rapid, only fleeting glimpses.

A raven-haired teenager with sea-green eyes (the name “Percy” springs to mind) opening the door, looking annoyed.

Meg walking out in her oh-so-loved, oh-so-important green dress.

A peach baby biting the heads off some nasty spirits.

Meg trying to drag me through some woods, my young protector struggling so hard to help.

A longer scene emerges.

A young man with golden hair and blue eyes looms above me.

Will.

His name is Will.

He’s my  ~~son~~.

I frown. What was that? Who is Will to me? I know I had it!

I’m Will’s  ~~father~~.

I can’t figure it out. It’s there, but muffled.

I try one last time to recall. He’s important to me! Will’s my  ~~son~~   ~~child~~  family.

Yes. That last time I could recall it! I know I’m missing some things, but he is my family. I’m certain of that!

I suppose that’ll have to be enough for now.

Two more enter. They appear slightly younger. One with dark skin and woven cornrows, the other a young girl with ginger hair dyed with a touch of green.

Immediately I felt like I should know them, my  ~~son~~  and  ~~daughter~~ , my  ~~children~~ , but the only word that stuck was “family”.

They are my  _family_.

Tears well up in my eyes.

They’re here because they care for me. Because they love me. Because they think I’m worth it, despite all evidence to the contrary.

I can’t let them down.

More flashes, more scenes.

My  ~~children~~  family sitting with me at a table, reassuring me that they’ll help me, protect me. Before I can break down sobbing, the scene changes again. I wish it didn’t.  _No, please, I want to be with them some more!_  I think. But it’s no use.  The scene is gone, and my memory of it fades as a new present takes its place.

I’m frustrated and miserable. Useless at skills I was once the god of. I make a rash vow, a foolish vow; _no wait please don’t do this don’t promise this   i f   o n l y   I   h a d n ’ t   p r o m i s e d_  -

“I swear upon the River Styx - until I am a god again, I will not use a bow or a musical instrument!”

The world appeared to freeze. I knew I just did something terrible, something foolish, something that would cause death to the people I care about, though I didn’t know who those people were.

I rocket ahead. Chiron stands in front of me, looking grim.

“I fear one more team is still missing… your  ~~children~~ , Kayla and Austin.”

My stomach twists into knots. They are gone because of me. I know they are. Because they tried to protect me.

I have to find them. To get them back. They have to live. They HAVE to. I will save them, no matter what. I owe them that at least.

More images, more pain, more evidence of my failures.

Meg being carried off by a myrmekes, because she had distracted the myrmekes from me. Stumbling towards the ant who has her, only to fall and vomit, unable to move. Gone because I had been stupid enough to swear on the Styx. Gone because of me. Another person dead because of me.

No.

She’s not dead.

I know she’s not!

This time I willingly push forwards through time. I know that can’t be the end for her, I know it!

I’m running back through the tunnels, bow and quiver slung over my shoulders. And I sing.

Memories crash back through me. Daphne slowly turning to wood, Hyacinthus’s eyes glazing over as he falls onto the ground, dead.

_I had forgotten them again._

The pain of their deaths, of my failures, of my inability to even properly honor them by REMEMBERING them, crashes over me, crashes through me.

I sing out my pain, I beg for forgiveness. The myrmekes stand down, overcome by my grief.

But at least I won’t lose another precious person here.

Meg is ahead of me, constrained, but alive. This time, I wasn’t too late. This time, I did not fail.

My relief does not last long.

Meg is now beside me as we face off against a man, an evil man. I know, somewhere in the back of my mind, that this man has caused her untold pain, has hurt her in ways that will take a long time to heal, if they ever do.

Something tickles in the back of my mind.

A realization. One that feels familiar, but I was sure I hadn’t had before now.

This man - he was like that evil man, that awful man, that one who promised pain.

A man that should have protected Meg, like that evil, awful man should have protected me, because both of them are our  ~~fathers~~.

This time I didn’t push to remember. I didn’t want to remember him. He didn’t deserve it.

More jolting.

Trees burn around me. Several young demigods (and one geyser spirit), including Kayla and Austin, are tied up, unconscious and helpless as the flames inch closer. I CANNOT let them die. I WILL NOT. I pick them up, one by one, and drag them away. But it’s not enough. I only bought them minutes. They’ll burn too. I can’t save them. I can’t save myself. I need help. But who could help me? I’m alone. By myself, without my powers, I’m useless. I can’t save my precious people as a god, why would I think I stood a chance as a mortal?

I call for help, not expecting any.

My call is answered.

Dryads appear out of the trees, the beautiful nymphs marching resolutely towards the fire, faces placid, their fates decided. They quench the fire, but at a cost. The fire sears their skin, turning it black and hard (like how Daphne’s had turned to bark, like how her skin had turned dark and unyielding) until they crumbled away.

More dead because of me.

But somehow I always survived.

It doesn’t seem fair, that so many die so I can live.

I don’t deserve it.

I turn towards the hostages. My grief and guilt would have to wait. The demigods are depending on me. I have to try to help.

Small surge forwards, only by a few minutes.

Meg and I are in a grove of whispering trees. She’s backing away, saying that she needs to go back to the evil man, the Beast. She calls him something else, says that he’s not the Beast, tries to convince herself that he’s not as bad as he appears.

My heart breaks. The Beast has twisted her so far, has his claws in so deep, that he’s gotten Meg to do some of the work FOR him, to convince HERSELF that he can be reasoned with, if only she goes back to him. That it’s her fault for angering the Beast, that anything bad he was going to do, was because of her.

Absolving himself of any responsibility for his actions.

Something starts tingling in the back of my head again, a sense of familiarity. I ignore it. It  ~~He~~  doesn’t deserve my attention or remembrance.

Meg runs away, back to her abuser. I wish I could help her, keep her away from her abuser. But I can’t catch her. She disappears, leaving an ache in my heart.

I will find her again. I will free her from her stepfather’s clutches. She protected me. It’s time I protect her.

I skip forward, in flashes again, instead of the small jolts I’d been experiencing.

*flash*

Myself crying over my  ~~son~~ , relieved that he’s okay.

*flash*

Singing to the ants again, but this time trying to befriend them, instead of merely calm them.

*flash*

A giant golden statue of myself, buck-naked, running around squashing things (This one takes me aback for a moment).

*flash*

The battle’s over. The Demeter cabin is destroyed. The camp’s in disarray, many demigods sick or injured. But no one’s dead.

The campers are all alive and the injured and sick will make full recoveries.

If I leave, hopefully they’ll stay that way.

But I don’t want to. My family… Will, Kayla, and Austin… I want to stay with them. I want to be with them. I want to be there for them.

But I can’t endanger them anymore.

My feet don’t move. Even now, I’m still selfish and fearful. I can’t make myself leave, make myself go out on my own. I can’t do this by myself. I need friends. I just… I don’t want to be alone. Even though that’s safest for everyone around me. I can’t be alone. Please, don’t leave me alone.

Another flash forward, this one longer than all the previous ones.

I’m with a beautiful young woman, yet instead of feeling flirtatious, my stomach knots up. I’m responsible for something bad happening to her, an injustice she didn’t deserve. And I didn’t care until now. Why didn’t I care?

I can’t remember what I did. But knowing that in some way I had harmed her… I didn’t deserve her help. Yet she was helping me anyway. I am amazed that she wants to be around me.

We’re facing off against a young man holding a sword. He was a handsome young man, though his features were marred by many, many large scars across his face.

He’s trying to kill me. I’m about to die.

So why do I feel hopeful? Like I’m anticipating something.

Then a small girl drops in front of me. Meg!

_She’shereshe’shereshe’sOKAYandshewantstohelpme_

She holds him off, yelling at me to go, that she’ll hold him off. I can’t leave her. She’ll die. Yet I don’t have a choice. Try as I might, my legs walk me away from her, towards some griffins. My stomach turns. Something bad happens to these griffins. But now is not the time. My young protector is in danger. I WILL NOT allow her to die.

I hop onto one of the griffins, my female companion getting on board the other one. We fly them towards Meg and the swordsman. Thankfully, Meg’s order only applies to me, not what (or rather who) I’m riding. I hoist her up onto my griffin as we fly by. She turns to me and exclaims “You were  _supposed_  to go!” before wrapping her arms around me, sobbing into my shirt.

At least I’ve been able to do something right. I saved her. She didn’t die.

*flash*

It’s chaos around me. Ostriches running around, myself riding an elephant, Sis’s Hunters fighting. And then there’s the Emperor.

He looks exquisite in his fine purple robes, though he could’ve been naked and he would’ve been just as handsome (as I can attest).

My focus is not on him however (mostly); it’s on the young man he’s holding. Lit. His name is Lit. The man who tried to kill me and my friends earlier. Yet I can’t stand to see him die now. Not at Commodus’s hands.

He’s like me. He’s like Meg. Hurt, controlled by the people who should support him, seeing him only as a tool, not caring whether he lives or dies, only mourning the loss of some of their power. And making bad decisions, ones that hurt others. Though this is a similarity that only I and Lit share.

I could write him off. No one would blame me if I did. But I can’t. I just can’t. I have to try to help him, to find him a family. I can’t leave him like this, bleeding out, ready to be killed by someone who’s supposed to be on his side.

He deserves a chance.

*flash*

Meg’s dying in my arms.

She came here to help me. She’s dying because she refused to allow the snakes to kill me. I cannot let her die.  _Please, let this one live_.

I tried everything I could think of - reassuring her, singing to her, telling her sternly that she must live - but none of it worked. I only had one recourse. I must share the poison with her.

If she dies, at least she won’t die alone.

*flash*

A bespectacled young man is standing in front of me. My heart attempts to fight its way into my stomach while my stomach tries to relocate up my throat.

Jason.

This is Jason.

My little brother.

_Remember._

But

I

_can’t_.

I zone back in. My body is moving again, doing and saying things I am not in control of.

I heard Jason speak.

“I tried to talk some sense into  ~~Zeus.~~  I told him he was wrong to punish you. He didn’t listen.”

I couldn’t comprehend the sentence fully. I knew this, though: Jason had put himself out there to try and protect me, even though he didn’t know me. Even though he’d had no reason to do so. I had done nothing for him. Yet he risked his life for me.  ~~He gave his life for me~~.

He turns to me, puts his hands on both my shoulders.

“Promise me one thing. Whatever happens, when you get back to Olympus, when you’re a god again,  _remember_. Remember what it’s like to be human.”

I broke my promise.

I forgot.

_I forgot_.

I have to remember. Please, please, PLEASE, let me remember this. I can’t… I can’t let him down again. Let him down more than I already have.  _Let him down like I let Daphne and Hyacinthus down_.

*flash*

Jason’s fighting against an Emperor - Caligula. Arrows are embedded in all of his limbs, but he still keeps fighting.

No.

NO.

NONONONONONONONONONONO

Not again… please… don’t make me watch this again…

Jason turns to me, looks me straight in the eye.

“GO! Remember!”

He’d used his last words to drive that promise into my soul, to ensure that I would never forget.

_But I still forgot_.

Caligula drives his spear through Jason’s back. He falls, blood soaking through his clothes.

He’s dead.

I couldn’t save him.

My brother is dead.

*flash*

My essence is being torn apart, converted. Dissolved.  _I will disappear_.

Will anyone miss me?

I try to hold onto something, anything. My memories. But they are treacherous. My twin sister! What’s her name?  _What’s her name?!_  Please, leave me this.  _Please_.

The woman next to me tells me to hold on, that help will arrive. But how can I resist? Even my most precious memories are slipping away now.

But I have to. For the sake of the dead. Of those who died to allow me to get this far.

I speak senseless words, words that I don’t understand. Yet they seem to help. As I speak, tiles rise up in front of me, blocking the heat just a little.

It’s not fast enough.

But it doesn’t have to be.

A young white furry creature with big ears ( _Crest! He has a name!_ ) strums on a ukulele.

MY ukulele.

The one I gave him.

The one I promised to teach him how to play.

He’s beaten up, his fingers are broken, but still he plays.

He wants to be a musician.That’s his dream.

He could have left us. I only asked him to save Meg and to show us the entrance to the Labyrinth, nothing more.

Yet he CHOSE to stand guard.

He CHOSE to try to fight off Medea and his minions, despite how outmatched he was.

He refused to relinquish my ukulele, his ukulele, no matter what.

And now he is throwing away his chance of survival, his chance of attaining his dream, in order to save me, a person he’s only known for a day.

I watch on, helpless, as Crest continues to play.

I force out more words, dampening the heat slightly. Crest is buying me this time. I have to use it.

Medea stabs Crest in the chest. Still he plays defiantly.

She stabs him again. But he will not stop.

A third strum of the ukulele, a third stab from Medea.

Somehow he’s still alive, still clutching that ukulele.

*flash*

I’m on the ground, kneeling next to Crest. His fur is matted with blood. His chest is a mess of blood and viscera. But still he clutches that ukulele.

He locks eyes with me ( _just like Jason did before he died)_. “Music. God.”

He wanted to be a god of music. Like I was.

I talk to him, try to give him reassurances, convince myself that this cannot be happening, that Crest would be okay.“Yes, my young friend. You are a music god! I- I will teach you every chord. We will have a concert with the Nine Muses. When- when I get back to Olympus…”

  
Crest slowly relaxes, collapsing into dust. The ukulele remains, the only remnant of the brave young pandos.

I’d forgotten Crest. He had no one else to remember him. I was the only one who really talked with him. I was the one he looked up to. I had taken him on as my student. He had died to save me from a fate worse than death.

I had repaid him by forgetting he ever existed.

**0-o-0**

  
I woke up sobbing for the second day in a row.

Will. Kayla. Austin. Jason. Crest.  Hyacinthus. Daphne.

I’m sure there’s more that I’ve forgotten, more friends that I made, more lives lost. But these are all that I can remember right now.

My memories… I HAD to remember this time. My memory was growing fuzzy, but more slowly this time. I COULD NOT allow myself to forget. Not again.

I pull myself up using the bars of my crib, trying to stand, trying to walk.

I trip over an object.

My ukulele. The one that Artemis had retrieved for me.

I had always felt great sorrow and guilt looking at it, but I couldn’t bear to part with it.

Now I knew why.

…

That’s it!

Artemis, Leto, and Meg came rushing into the room. I burbled and pointed at the ukulele, trying to get them to understand my idea. They mostly just seemed confused, unfortunately.

At last I screwed up my face and concentrated. I pointed to the ukulele and said “Kest!”

Mother and Sis still looked confused, but light dawned in Meg’s eyes.

“Crest?” she asked. I nodded vigorously.

“You remember him? What else do you remember?”

I concentrate, trying to form the words, get the names out there. “Will. Kayla. Aw-tin. Da-nee. Hya… Hya-si… Hya-si…” I tripped up on “Hyacinthus”. Meg came to my rescue.

“Hyacinthus?”

I nodded, and then forced out the last name. _I promised to remember_ …

“Jay-son.”

Meg’s face fell as she heard the name. She knew what remembering him meant. The guilt was written on my face.

“It wasn’t your fault, Apollo.  _You tried._  He CHOSE to help, KNOWING that he would die. You did everything you possibly could.”

It didn’t make me feel better. He was still dead because of me. I HAD to fulfill his wish, his wish to… what?

_Remember_

I jolted. I needed to do this NOW, before I forgot more, before my memory faded again.

I quickly crawled out of the tent, into the outdoors, and more importantly, over to the dirt.

Mom, sis, and Meg followed, perplexed.

“Where are you going, brother?” Artemis asked.

I clawed at the dirt with my useless little baby hands. “Hya! Hya!” I cried.

Artemis looked at me sadly. “Hyacinthus is dead, Apollo. Even I can’t bring him back from the Underworld.”

‘That’s not what I mean!’ I wanted to shout. But I couldn’t.

I crawled over to Meg, using her dress to pull myself to a standing position. I pawed at the pouches on Meg’s belt, trying to open them.

Meg opens a pouch, taking out a packet of seeds. “You want this?”

I grab the seeds, not opening it, but shaking it up and down over the hole I had dug. “Hya!” I cried again.

This time, she got it.

“You want to plant Hyacinths?” she asked.

Success!

I nodded vigorously… and then fall over. Need to work on my balance.

Mom summoned a flowerpot. I carefully poked a hole in the soil, and Meg handed me a seed. I dropped it in and covered it up.

Now normally, this might not be enough to get a hyacinth flower to sprout and grow. Normally there weren’t several gods on hand who really, REALLY want that hyacinth to grow.

It grew rapidly, reaching full bloom in a matter of minutes.

I hugged the pot to my chest, crying a little. I won’t forget. I could never forget what this flower means.

There are more people I have to remember though, more I can’t afford to forget.

I tore myself away from the pot.

“Da-nee!” I shouted.

This time, they got it immediately.

Meg summoned a laurel tree seed. Artemis handed me one of her arrows.

I poked a hole in the ground, dropped it in, and covered it up, just like I did with the Hyacinth seed. Within minutes, a fully grown laurel tree had grown outside of the tent.

I sat back and stared at the two plants for a moment. My two loves. They had stopped fading from my mind. Even when my mind reverts back, I was certain that I’d still remember them.

I still felt antsy, though. I’d enjoyed being here, but I felt like I was missing people now.

Like there was somewhere else I wanted to go, some people I wanted to see.

Faces flashed before my eyes.

A young man with blond hair and blue eyes, looking down at me, concerned.

Another young man with dark hair in cornrows, playing the saxophone.

A young woman with ginger hair tinged with green, giving me advice on shooting arrows.

_Family_

“Ca’p Haf-bud,” I say. They look over to me.

“Ca’p Haf-bud, Ca’p Haf-bud!” I exclaim more urgently. 

More of my family was there. I wanted to see them! I wanted to see them so badly!

“You want to go to Camp Half-Blood?” Artemis asks. I nod. 

Meg cartwheeled around a bit. “I’d like that. I was getting bored. Plus they’ve got some good food.”

“Ok, let’s go,” Mother said. 

Artemis broke down camp, and summoned her chariot. “You’ve never ridden in my chariot, have you, little brother?”

I hadn’t. I tried to look unimpressed and aloof.

Then one of the deer nuzzled me.

SO. CUTE. SO SOFT. And such pretty golden fur!

I immediately forgot that I was trying to be cool and patted their heads, squealing. The deer huffed, and the other three deer joined in, deciding to lick me. I laughed and squealed, it was so fun!

Then I glanced over and saw Artemis with a video camera. I tried to look aloof, but it was too late.

She smirked at me. I tried to be angry, but then one of the reindeer nuzzled me again and I couldn’t.

We entered Artemis’s chariot. I watched as Delos became smaller and smaller, clutching my ukulele (Crest’s ukulele) to my chest, hyacinth in a pot at my feet. The laurel tree grew smaller and smaller as we flew away.

“We’ll plant a new one,” Meg promised. “To remember her by.”

I nodded, tearing up as we flew towards more of my family and friends.


End file.
